Tony stares at Steve for a good five seconds before his eyes start bugging out.
"Whoaaaa," Tony says, groggy and croaky and so, so incredibly high that Steve has to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing.
"Good to see you awake," Steve says, pressing a cracker into Tony’s hand, where it falls to the ground when Tony fails to hold it. Steve gives him another cracker, folding Tony’s fingers around it himself as Tony continues to stare at Steve.
"Eat the cracker, Tony."
Tony blinks slowly. “Did the doctor send you?”
Steve turns his laugh into a cough. “Uh, no he didn’t.”
"You… are eye candy," Tony says. Slurs, more like. The drugs really did a number on him.
Steve chews furiously on the inside of his cheek and tries not to sound like he’s giggling.
"Whoa," Tony says again, pausing when Steve brings the cracker to his mouth. Tony bites off a piece, chewing as he says, "You’re the prettiest guy I’ve ever seen. Are you a model?”
"No," Steve says, shaking with quiet laughter. "Eat the cracker, Tony."
He pushes gently on Tony’s hand, moving the cracker towards Tony’s mouth, but Tony keeps talking. “Who are you?”
"My name’s Steve," Steve says. "I’m your husband."
Tony’s eyes go even wider at that. “You’re- my husband?”
"Hoooly shit." Tony flops his head to the side, stares at the wall for a second before returning his bug-eyed gaze to Steve. "How long?"
"Eat the cracker, you’re waking up from surgery, you’re still a little woozy."
Tony bats the cracker away when Steve tries to feed it to him. “Have we kissed yet?”
"Yes, quite a lot," Steve laughs. "Eat the damn cracker, you adorable madman."
"But it’s hard," Tony moans, batting at the cracker. "It’s hard, baby- do we call each other baby?"
"Oh." Tony finally relents and chews on the side of his cracker.